2 days til transfer!

So it has been forever since I've blogged and LOTS of things have changed. In early November we started getting checked out at our fertility doc to find out why were not getting pregnant. It turns out its male fertility factors...so were doing IVF (thats the super short version of the super loong story)....so I've been through all the shots, all the ultrasounds, all the meds, the horrible retrieval, (that was the worst) and were waiting for Monday, the day of our transfer. The nurse called yesterday and told us that out of the 11 embryos they retrieved from me last week, 8 of them fertilized and are growing little tt/mahkas!! It makes me so excited to know that we can at least make little embryos. We've been told that not all of them will make it to Monday but probably 4 or 5 of them will. Out of those, they will choose the two best to put inside me. I never thought I'd say it, but Monday cant get here fast enough!  Wish us luck....I hope I blog soon with good news....Happy New Year everyone!

I can barely wait any longer!!

This is nuts...I cant believe I have to wait this long to find out if I'm pregnant, I have all of these differing signs and I've checked every website on the web about TTC. I know I just have to wait it out, but geez, this is tough. I just Pray that AF does not show up. Okay, breathe breathe. I'm alright. I totalllly understand what women go through when they are TTC, I had no idea it was such a "world." I need my husband to come home to pry me away from the computer! Okay I'm stepping back....

It's 3 a.m. and I'm feeling lonely...(imagine Blink 182 tune with words)

Okay, so 6:30 yesterday am, 3:00 am today!!! Yes, it is true, I have been wide awake again, the second morning in a row, (or 3 if you count 7 am Saturday am.) This one is the big kahuna though, ranking in at THREE FREAKIN AM! I woke up to pee, and have been laying in bed since, its now quarter to 5. Are you thinking what I'm thinking? Probably not. Let's see, everyone's early pregnancy symptoms are a little different, last time I was preggers earlier this year I got up super early as well, I didnt know it at the time because it was my first pregnancy but...I guess...it's just one of my "signs." Now I'm really trying to not get too excited or tell the entire world just yet, (this blog doesnt count as the whole world, I havent given the address out to anyone)...but I gotta tell ya, I'm kinda getting excited.
Okay another couple things...I woke up hungry, and after I played pranks on my husband for an hour or so, telling him he had to come downstairs with me because there are small little monsters downstairs that will eat me, I conceded and came downstairs to start my super early day. I'm guessing after I blog, I could do some yoga before work...knowing that if I'm up this early and its MONDAY then that means at 3 30 pm I'm going to crash big time. Bigger than the movie.
So where does all of this leave me....in my eyes it's, when can I frikkin test?! I'm 7 dpo, or seven days past ovulation, so at the verrry earliest I'd have to wait until Wednesday or Thursday, funny, I told Mark we couldn't test until Friday, this weekend, how it ever always gets closer...;)
I hope all you normal Sleeping people have a nice transition back into the work week and actually get some rest before it comes. Don't mind me, I'll either be here in cyber world or doing savasana in the yoga mat trying to catch some zzzzz.

Could it be...?

Now I know I can be one to jump the ball a bit, and yes, I know that the term "its that time of the month again" has new meaning at the lunch table I share with my co-workers, (they know I think that I'm pregnant, yet once again)...but seriously people, this time, could it be? Here's why....My temps the last several days have been 98.0...today it was 98.3, so definately climbing, but I know this is not definitive alone, so I have more....nipples are very sensitive, boobs are heavy, but here's the one that's got me....I'm AWAKE!! It's Sunday morning, the sun is not up yet, but Jax and I are. Background knowledge needed: Last time I was pregnant (which ended in a miscarriage at 13 weeks), I woke up early in the very beginning, just kind of shot up and was awake before anyone else, (which is a very peaceful time of the day)...so why am I awake now? Okay okay, I know I probably fell asleep on the couch at 11 or so last night, maybe 10:30, but still, I've been up since 6:30, when I got up to go pee...another sign. Some Sunday morning, eh?
Everyone says relax, it will happen when the time is right, and some days yes, I feel like attempting that, or I maybe even "do" that....but other days , uh-huh, not happening folks. I can't do it, I want my baby, I feeel my baby so close, and I want her to come home.
So enjoy your lazy (rainy) Sunday morning while I sit wide awake and wait for more symptoms, or atleast until the day gets closer that I can POAS. (That's online mom lingo for 'pee on a stick', gross, I know, but it's just what we do, us crazed almost-mamas-to-be) :)

I can't believe I'm really a Blogger!

So after reading countless other bloggers, I finally decided to jump ship and create my own! And there hasn't been a better time in life to do so....my love, Mark, and I got married in June of this year (only to be getting married again next September, more on that later)...and we are working on starting a family. I envision this blog to be about sharing the journey into marriage and parenthood...and detailing the wild journey called our lives...which includes but is ofcourse not limited to.... figuring out what we want to be when we "grow up", choosing to have a home birth, cooking good, healthy food, vegetarian foods, good wine and beer, our too large mortgage, our "un-garden," being a doula and attending births, Redskins games which includes fantasy football, large families and family functions, friends that are like family, traveling and dreaming of it endlessly, working with Special Education kids, teaching living practicing yoga, our beloved dog Jax, basal body temperatures, miscarriages, holistic remedies, herbs, and hopefully one day soon...the joys of being a new mother and father. Thanks for reading our new blog...I'm humbled that we really have one! Peace and Blessings.....Tara (and Mark... from a peaceful Saturday afternoon nap on the couch)